#2: Leaving Home

 Cat watched her mother leave, then turned to kick the pile of logs, reveling in the pain that distracted her from the tears. She used that anger to stuff her bag and stalk out into the Kin. 

    Instantly her discomfort flooded back in.

    Panthers, jaguars, and leopards limped and sprawled around the clearing. Licking wounds and piling next to each other for warmth in the late fall morning. Blood still stained the grass. It could never really be cleaned. Children expertly stitched up wounds and applied poultices before sundown, and the next raid on their home.

    She pulled up her hood and walked through it all, eyes cast down. Trying not to see, trying not to be seen. There was no one to say goodbye to.

    She almost made it out of the clearing when a hand landed on her shoulder, pulling at her pack. "Here, I can take that," a low voice purred behind her. No one to say goodbye to except him.

    "I don't need your help, thanks." She pulled the pack strap closer to her chest and kept walking, not looking back at him.

    She heard him fall into step next to her as they cleared the Kin and started down the grassy hill. "Well, let's walk together. Might be the last time for a while."

    "Probably the last time. Period." She said, still not looking up.

    "Don't say that."

    "Really, you think I can actually make it? No chance."

    "Well it will be if you have that attitude. Geez, Cat. You're such a downer sometimes." He said.

    "Thanks. I'll add it to the list of disappointments."

    "Alright. Whatever." The young man said, swiping out at a nearby branch.  "But - look Cat. I came to wish you luck. I know you don't think anyone's looking out for you, or waiting for you to come back. I just wanted to let you know that I am."

    She finally met eyes with him as they walked, her gold ones meeting his green. "Oh yea? The mighty Winterpaw is worried about me? What will your pack of love-struck followers have to say about that?"

    "Don't call me that."

    "Why not, Winterpaw? That's the name you picked out. I remember you thought it was the best name ever."

    "Yea, when I was ten."

    "Well, at least you have a name."

    "Ugh, not this again, Cat. And you're never going to earn yours, with that attitude."

    "Yea well, I tried all the attitudes growing up. They didn't work, and this one stuck. At least now everyone has yet another reason not to talk to me."

    "Cat! Sometimes I just want to," he snarled, the sound primal and loud. A couple unseen animals scurried away. "Look, before you go and get yourself killed, I brought you something." 

    She looked at his open palm. He held out a small wooden carving of a soaring jay bird. She made that for him. And he was giving it back.

    "Now before you get all mad about me returning your gift, let me say what I want to say." He said.

    "Please, not another one of your motivational speeches. I took this job so I didn't have to listen to them anymore."

    He grabbed her hand, pulling her up short, spinning her towards him. Too close. Her face flushed immediately.

    He put one hand under hers, the other opened up her balled fist. He placed the carving into it, his warm hands covering hers. 

    "Look, Cat. I remember when you gave this to me eight years ago. It's when I failed my first trial. Something I seem remember you didn't even try."

    She snorted.

    "Well, I found you on the overhang, looking out at the forest. You could already read the failure on my face, even before I told you. You just smiled and dropped this in my hand. Remember what you told me?"

    "No." She said. She looked up at him, her hand still nestled between his. She didn't want to pull away. Not yet.

    "Well I do. You, in all your ten-year-old wisdom. You said, 'here, I found out what it's like to be free. The birds told me so. The birds are birds. And you're a lion. So that's what you should be.'

    "I didn't really understand what you meant. But I did get that you were trying to tell me to be myself. But now I know what it means. Birds are birds. They aren't trying to be something, someone else. And that's what makes them free. 

    "I passed my next trial," he said. "And the one after that, and all the rest. Because I remembered what you said. Now I think it's time you need a reminder." 

    "Okay, stop right there, hero." She said, finally pulling her hand away, pocketing the carving. She turned and started walking again. "I was ten. I wanted to fly. That's all."

    "I think you knew what you meant. So why aren't you following your own advice?" He said, gesturing towards her pocket. 

    She didn't respond.

    "Hey, Cat. Bring Flutter back. He's my lucky charm."

    "Flutter - you named the carving?" She said. 

    "Yea. I'm good at names."

    "No, it's official. Your names suck." She said. She smiled under the shadow of her hood.

    They approached the thick tree line at the bottom of the hill. They both took a silent moment, thinking of what awaited her inside.

    "Goodbye," she breathed, suddenly feeling small.

    "Bye for now," he said. He tugged her up to him, trapping her in a tight, warm hug. Then he released her. Entirely too soon.

    "Be back soon, okay? I want my best friend back." He said. He kissed her forehead, smiled his hero's smile, and stalked away, leaving her to her own quiet death.

    Friends. Of course. That's all they ever were.

    She turned on her heel and strode into the trees, allowing its shadows to hide her freely flowing tears.